Before I start
The original post is on my facebook. While I only imagine people who knows me to ever come for the blog, I don't want to write it in a way that assumes all readers know my detailed background and story. So while I'm 95% copy pasting the exact post, I added context and touch ups when needed.General context: I've been in college as an undergrad for 7 years going 8 for one reason or another. After a long journey, it seems to have reached a reasonably positive conclusion with existing job offers in the software industry which tends to be quite lucrative. Here goes..
Been kinda quiet for a while and did nothing for Christmas as I was in the details with job offers and resting from the interview processes.
Didn't go quite as well as I'd hope to but it seems like a final decision is close to being made.
I'd like to say it's a lot of hard work paying off and a lot of help from great friends, but honestly at this point it's not some sort of "I've made it" dream come true. It's just another "start".
All my life I thought the real deal is around the corner. In high school I thought it was quite pointless but just gotta get thru to college. I remember the first day at UBC on imagine day, I felt so hyped with chills to my spine, feeling like "This is it, my life is in motion and all is well."
1 year later I was at the absolutely bottom of my life due to personal and family reasons but also the course load of engineering school didn't help. Seemed like getting to college was just a "start", all that "hard work" and "life experience" in high school is nothing but a joke in comparison. Then I realized all I need is some solid internships and $$$, then my life is set and all will be well.
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But I was demolished in my early jobs, mentally and physically. I wasn't prepared for a regularized and consistent workload as I was always an "dynamic", "creative" worker and the school system is far more flexible regardless of course load. It seemed like an internship is just a "start", all that college and leetcoding is just a joke in comparison.
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| This is not me but I found this public image a little too real, especially with the stickers lmaoz |
In the next few years I finally realized I needed to settle down and work on my career skills, my (horrible) work ethics, my life style and habits to ensure I can progress in life and maintain this momentum for the rest of my life, or at least a solid 20-30 years. This shit never stops. It only ever gets more intense. There is no finish line until I'm done with life. There is no "cheat", only trade-offs between fast and low quality which I have to make up for later on, or slow and high quality which doesn't solve hot issues at hand fast enough.
Even today it is a work in progress but I've given up the idea of "endure one more year and I'm free". I will never be "free". Not in the sense of taking it easy and chilling in life anyways, that's the literal definition of retirement.
Until all is said and done, we do not know what lies ahead. We may encounter hardships beyond imagination, yet it may be a blessing in disguise making us grow stronger, smarter, better. We may have "omg this is happening" moments here and there, yet it may not last and the fall can be worse than it was before. From money to love; from goals to dreams.
I would cite some books in why people physically cannot be happy forever but I won't cuz it's long and I'm tired. We are designed to calibrate constantly to seek progress and improvement in any given circumstances, whether it's so bad life may seem impossible or so good that everyone else is jealous. There will always be more to do. And to not do, is to no longer feel the true excitement life can bring.
Just keep going.