The Stories of My Family - From Highly Ranked WWII Family to Tax Lawyer, Business Woman to One Troll Boi (1)

Context

Recently, I was chatting with friends and even made a post on facebook about the reality of the US (or north america) when it comes to income levels. More details here. Of course, this discussion went two ways, and during the chat as well as my personal perspective leaned heavily to one side: How sad it was to know so many people are struggling to barely survive. 

The other side of the argument, of course, is how privileged we are. From good families to good educations (cough) in a good industry right now.  Discussing about how privileged I am could be an interesting write in itself, but the more I thought about it the more it seemed like I would have more fun talking about the highs and lows of my family history coming up to this point. 

In a sense there's a shit ton of ideas always floating in my head that I want to write about. This seem to cover a few. It will touch on how much of a spoiled brat I was and some struggles I've went through (not much on the later side though), but also the absolutely crazy characters that are my direct family and their next level stories. It may also touch some more philosophical, potentially political topics but of course I do not focus on them. 

My Direct Family

Mom Side Grandma(s)

I will start with the one I know the least about. The reason will be clear at the end. 

Born in 1929, she was originally from some rural village from Hubei 湖北 province but moved to the big city Wuhan 武汉 as a kid after her parents "made it" from family business or whatever. As a result she went to school (a rarity at the time) and eventually onto college. She joined the army as a rare breed of "educated" person, thus became a teacher to teach general knowledge or even basic literacy to many soldiers and ranked officers. It's how she eventually met my grandpa after WWII ended. After getting together with grandpa, the Korean War started and both of them were allocated to the front lines. Before they went, grandma (she was not a combatant, so stays right behind front lines for other duties) told grandpa "Since you might die soon, let's have a kid". My aunt was born close to the front line. 

Eventually wars ended, and after various political shifts in China, they settled down into a peaceful little family. She gave birth to another 2 kids. My mother (as the 2nd) then my uncle. Unfortunately, due to health issues or complications after birth, she passed away shortly after giving birth to my uncle, my mom was only 4 or so back then, and barely had much memories of her. Though I will discuss the journey of my mom later. 

In short, my grandma was a smart, and apparently a beautiful woman who joined the army as a passionate kid out of college. Wasn't really afraid of shit, such as raising a kid as a widow. It's unfortunate she passed away so early.

To add a short introduction before my mom's portion which may be long. I wrote grandma(s) because there was eventually a replacement. I don't know much about her outside of being a horrible person to everyone. You'd think she'd shit on my mom and her siblings because they are the kids of the dead past wife. Yet in reality, she was the most cruel to her own child, a single one after marrying into the family. In fact, he (my younger uncle) was one of the nicest guy I've ever met in my life, but a bit too easy to be pushed around / used by others. Every time she shit on her own son, it's my mom that stood up to her and protected her little brother, thus they become very tight. He has passed away due to unfortunate circumstances, but I won't write about it here.

Mom side Grandpa

Born in 1926, he was from Hebei 河北 (it essentially surrounds the area around Beijing). Born in a rural village in an average ass family. He was a simple troll kid that barely had any schooling or literacy. War happened, he joined the army as a 13 year old. 

There was many funny tales in the early days of the war due to how "behind" China was at the time. He used to tell my mom how bullshit the modern TV-series / Chinese movies depicted WWII at the beginning. They barely had any weaponry, and was using ancient weapons like spears and bats to fight.  He once told the story of a unit of roughly 60-80 people being chased by 4 Japanese soldiers with motherfcking actual GUNS, running for their lives. 

He served under 丁盛 Ding Sheng's lead for most of the war, from WWII to civil war and Korean war. Ding eventually became the 54th's Corps Commander 54军军长. They were part of the well known Forth Field Army / 四野 formed after WWII. My gramps were bros with Ding before he was the Corps Commander. Of course, gramps was well below in ranks but because he was young and a quick learner, Ding took notice of him since Ding was lower on the ladder himself. They were also close because both of their wives later on were in the same org.

He only ever told troll stories. Another story was about my grandpa's love for chicken. Barely having food for most days, during a surprise attack, he found some freshly cooked chicken abandoned while advancing to the next objective. Since time was of essence, with quick eyes and thinking, he grabbed a wooden stick and stabbed the whole chicken to get moving. Before he took the first bite, Ding caught up (it says something when a highly ranked officer was 2 steps behind the battle) and yelled "WTF you think you doing, Geng! 你在干什么小耿！" Being the troll my grandpa was, he said "Major General, grabbed some chicken for you! 师长！您吃鸡！"

"If you waste one second more I will execute you with my gun right now! 你再不前进我一枪毙了你！" My grandpa threw it away (sad face) and continued advancing - without chicken. Now we know where my hunger gene came from: dude was literally grabbing chicken with bullets flying around. 

WWII ended. He got to "army school". Met the prettiest woman of his life. Somehow scored that. Tbf, he was over 6' tall during an age without much food, "decently" handsome plus he's troll / funny. He didn't climb the ranks much at the end cuz he's also stubborn and snarky. 

Korean War started. Despite his will to fight on the front line, he got reallocated to be Commander of a medical unit on ranks of a Lieutenant Colonel or Major (营级也可能是连级，卫生队队长). He complained but the higher ranks told him they needed experienced and courageous commanders to lead field medics too. He followed orders, as all soldiers do. They were right, as during one battle, he single-handedly carried back over 60 wounded soldiers in total and led other members in and out of the battle before he physically collapsed due to exhaustion.

After the wars, he transferred out of the army group and continued his education but not in the field he wanted to - political shit instead of applied math / physics in Ballistics (for cannon angle calculations). Went thru Chinese political blah blah - cut ties with Ding after certain event when Ding did not help him in need during political shifts. Settled down. His trolling didn't end until he couldn't move or speak due to deafness (after all that guns and bombs and age) before passing away.

When I was a kid and visiting, he was wheelchair bound and couldn't communicate well nor want to scare me with yelling. One day, sitting in a sofa (ie couldn't move), he saw me playing around. My mom saw him then trying to grab my attention by hooking me with his cane but barely couldn't reach me and kept trying. The troller got trolled. Don't worry gramps, the trolling is past down fine and well. 

In short, he was a tough but funny motherfcker. Listening to war stories and looking up some of the battles they were in, I had a weird perspective of war as a kid. I never understood why a buncha people talk about PTSD or fear of death and guns or whatever, shit's worse on my dad's side grandpa. Both of my grandpas were ok, one ended up a funny troll while the other became an amazing photographer and nature lover. I didn't realize, many people, possibly myself included, wouldn't turn out as OK as my grandpas did. 

Dad side Grandma

Her age is a mystery, as she doesn't even disclose the real number to my dad. They believed it to be a big thing / risk in China (should I even mention this? lololol). The short version is she lied to join the army as many did from kiddos and it was forever carried on. They required 18 of age (only checked in area which wasn't completely war ridden, ie they had homes to go back to, my grandpas didn't) but she was likely between 13-15, hard to say. Maybe around 1927: the war started at 1938 and she joined during WWII, likely between 1940-1943. That'd put her at 13-16. She is from Shantou / Swatow 汕头. 

This one is spicy. Growing up pre-war, she's from a wealthy family that owned farms (真正的地主家大小姐，你们都别装逼 - just a joke in Chinese, hard to translate, not funny anyways) and she's very pretty when young. More than just she looks "nice" as most people talk about grandparents, she's cute - I've seen old photos. She was even able to speak some English back in the 1930s. Yet at the turn of the war, she believed in the Communist dogma, gave up her class, wealth, even family and joined the army, fighting with the 东江纵队 (Chinese wiki / reference) which is just a group conducting guerrilla warfare. They eventually met up and joined with the "real" army and that's how she met grandpa. 

She told me, there was something different about Grandpa from the other solider boys. While others went out to talk shit, crack jokes or do whatever solider things (like my other grandpa) during free times, my grandpa self-taught literacy(!) with minimal assistance in reading and writing. He realized the importance of reading and sending out messages thus did everything he could to improve his value in the war. She said she was impressed by his "smartness" and his drive. Of course grandma's well educated in comparison, so she helped him out. One thing let to another you get it. Although her point of the story was somehow I should study hard like my grandpa, be a smart boi. Ok. But studying don't land me cuties these days grandma!

Ironically, other poor dudes joined the army cuz they had no where to go and no food to eat while my grandma gave up a luxury lifestyle to join the war, yet somehow this became a "problematic background" after the wars ended. Not only did her progression of ranks halted, it even stopped my grandpa from reaching anything significant. She felt bad and guilt towards grandpa later in life as a result. How shitty.  

My dad side grandparents don't talk as much about the war because it gets fcked up on my grandpa side, thus I do not know as much stories of the past. Overall I found her background the most interesting. 

Dad side Grandpa 

Born in 1925, he was from a rural village in Shandong 山东. Poor and mostly illiterate like my other grandpa, the war began and he joined the army when he was also 13 around the start of the war. 

More family secrets...? His last name was Wang 王. My last name should've been Wang. This is a slightly twisted story. His mother, my great grandmother's last name is 崔. Her ancestry was actually from Korea, so technically the last name is Korean Choi (notice the "Hanja"). During the war, areas around Shandong was the most brutal as Japanese started their Jinmetsu Sakusen (燼滅作戦 / aka 三光政策). The policy quite literally means: Burn All, Kill All, Take All.  While the English wiki stays neutral and adds the "controversy" section, you can read much more detailed events down to villages, death counts, etc if translate works on the wikipedia page with Chinese.

Early during the war, his mother was buried alive (likely after being raped) by the Japanese among these policies and most people in his village were killed too. As gramps became more active in taking revenge and achieving small scale successes, he not only got attention from Chinese officials with some promotions but also Japanese ones. They started to hunt him down. At some point he had to dodge targeted actions on him (very small scale though) and also changed his name completely but took his mother's last name. That's how I became a Cui. I might be making the "hunted" story up in my imagination as a kid, but he was forced to change his name at some point. Regardless of the true reason for the change, he took his mother's last name instead of his dad's.

After WWII, my grandpa also fought under the Forth Field Army (as my other grandpa did) during the Civil War which was actually the worst stretch for him. His regiment was defending a crucial location in a famous battle at Tashan  (Chinese Reference) where they were significantly outnumbered during a stretch. The link describes the overall battle around the target, but he was at Tashan which was the most brutal scene. The regiment hit hardest only had 21 people who survived, and received the name of 塔山英雄团 Tashan Hero Regiment. There were 3 more that significantly contributed to the overall battle. Namely “白台山英雄团”， “塔山守备英雄团”，“威震敌胆炮团” these are fancy names given to the regiments and if I'm not mistaken, my Grandpa was in 塔山守备英雄团. If you went into link above, at the bottom, that's on the lower "team", under 10 -> 28.

It's also possible I mis-remembered if someone was only talking about it (maybe grandpa was close to them), rather than saying grandpa was in it himself. But he was definitely at the battle at Tashan in one of the listed where he lost a lot of his friends. They are later organized into the 41st /42nd Corps. If anyone's interested one can see a whole list under the structure of forth field army (but in Chinese). He was under 14 兵团 (army group) -> 41/42 军 (corps). My other grandpa is under 直属部队 (directly lead by Lin Biao 林彪 himself)  -> 54 军 (corps)

After the wars, at some point he got moved to a Calvary Unit "中国人民解放军骑兵第一师：西野第8纵队骑兵旅改编，隶属绥远军区" Chinese People's Liberation Army Calvary Division 1 and later stayed around Xinjiang area 新疆军区 for many years where my dad also served (he popped out a while back btw. My dad was already serving when they were in Guangzhou area 广州军区 before the move). A decade or so later, he was eventually relocated back to Beijing and promoted higher (to Major General levels) during peaceful times. At the latest part of the wars, I believe he was only a 团级干部（政委，因为识字，但一样前线作战）/ Colonel level. Lower during the battle referred above. 

I've seen his gorgeous photo, on his absolutely beast of a horse, with his beautiful sword.

For someone whose mother was buried alive at age 13 or 14, then losing most of his friends in brutal battles, he seemed to have turned out well. He was more reserved than my other grandpa. Despite his warmth, calmness, and love of nature, he didn't speak very much and certainly not about the wars. Some pieces are passed down to my dad when he was in the army, some via grandma. I can see on his side, some form of psychological trauma was there, but he zoned them out completely by focusing on his new hobby - photography while being the nice grandpa he was to me. 

In short, another tough mofo who had more baggage than my other grandpa, but he lived his later life in peace and in pursuit of a hobby. As far as I can tell, he lived happily ever after until health deteriorated, suffered Alzheimer / Dementia for a couple years before passing away. 

OK I DIDN'T PLAN THIS VERY WELL

Shit is turning into a novel as we speak and I don't think I want to continue onto my parents, who I know much more about even if I skip most. In fact I skipped a few stories on my grandparents already. 

We can summarize my grandparents down to: 4 army guys / gals. Tough & Driven (Uneducated & Poor) Guys vs Cute & Smart (Educated & Rich) Girls. Literally both Grandmas "tutored" my Grandpas at some point. The porn, wait, I meant story writes itself. If we believe in nature > nurture. One can also ask, "So how did you end up a sorry ass like yourself with those genes, Essayron?"

That's the thing. I don't know. Maybe the privilege already started at this point and I'm underachieving. Maybe it's all about the environment and circumstances. Some don't like to talk about genetic differences and would rather believe most things comes from nurture / personal choice. On the other hand, blindly excusing ourselves because "omg others are so talented~" is also beyond stupid. It's never 100/0 or 0/100 when it comes to nature/nurture, is it? 

Also, while I may have painted them as brave people, I'm gonna give out a hint: They quickly became the antagonists in both of my parents stories. Bad ones at that. It's funny how life works out. While my grandparents lived courageous lives pursuing their ideals and beliefs given the circumstances of the war, they were also tightly locked into the brain washing and political systems later down the line as well as having their own personal faults. For my parents to have ended up in USA and Canada for me to pop out, you may go ahead and imagine the stories before I get to it...